Ep. 18: Actions and Results
IN THIS EPISODE:
- RECAP OF CIRCUMSTANCE/THOUGHT/FEELING
- TAKING ACTION AND GETTING RESULTS
- THE MODEL IN ACTION
Helllo my friends! Welcome back to the podcast. What’s new in your world? Hopefully something juicy and amazing… but not juicy like soap opera/drama.. just juicy like exciting.
Ya all… have you seen A Star Is Born? OMG – the ending… ugh… I won’t ruin it in case you didn’t see it yet but we just watched it this week, and I have to tell you – my emotions were up and down – sooo many thoughts..lol..
In case you missed last weeks episode I talked about how our feelings came from our thoughts. AND I talked about the balance of emotions… I did not balance well with this movie..lol.. I was really resisting the ending and wishing it was different, and wishing I went to bed earlier…
I literally went to bed sad and pissed off because I thought the ending should be different.
But, what I want to point out is – if I went to bed about and hour hour and a half into the movie I would’ve loved it and been so happy… and it’s not like the movie changed – its just my thinking – so funny watching how the brain does this.
Ok, well that is your movie review this week..lol.. not to worry – it will not be a regular segment..lol. I rarely stay awake for movies lol.. in fact – I determine my rating of a movie based on how long I stay up.. so I guess that means this one was good.
Now – last week I started to take apart The Model with you. The Model is one of the tools I use with my clients as we work to take their lives to the next level.
The goal of this tool is to see how your thinking is creating the results you currently have in your life.
So today I want to dive more into the actions and results you have, which come from your thoughts and feelings.
Before we go too far. Let’s do a quick recap from last week and then we can finish out the last 2 parts – actions and results.
As a summary – we first talked about the difference between a circumstance and a thought.
A circumstance is a fact,
a thought is a sentence in your brain, about that circumstance.
We talked about the contrast of thoughts and how they create our feelings.
And then we talked about the importance of balance of emotions – this was the idea that life is 50/50 – half good, and half ass.
If you missed it please go back and listen to episode 17 where I go more indepth on the balance of emotions –
Our feelings are so important because they are the reason we do – or not do – anything in life.
Today I want to pick up on that, and finish the breakdown of the Model by talking about how our feelings drive our actions, and our actions get us our results.
Our actions refer to our behavior – our actions or inactions – always come from our feelings.
For example – Maybe you eat because you are lonely, or drink because you are stressed.
If you want different actions you need to choose different feelings.
And your actions will give you your results.
So maybe you are overweight because you’ve been eating when you are not hungry,
Or maybe you aren’t completing a task because you had an extra glass of vino.
I want to give you some examples of full models – Ill do one work related, and one wine related so you can see – and remember – whenever I say alcohol you could also substitute food if you are looking to lose weight.
I know people are listening for both so I just want to make sure you know how it can apply to you.
Let’s say you have a new project at work
That will be our Circumstance – a project has been assigned.
Your thought could be – This could be a great opportunity for me to show my value
Which would have you feeling.. maybe motivated right?
And now think about the actions you take when you are feeling motivated.
Maybe plan a strategy, implement a schedule, have a clear timeline on results, go all in on following the plan
And what is your result (remember – your result is your final part of the model)
Well, when you are taking all of those actions you are showing your value right?
Which is what you were thinking … remember – we said the thought was – This could be a great opportunity for me to show my value – bam – your thinking matched your results.
OK – now – lets take a different thought with the same Circumstance
So you still have the same project – nothing is different with the Circumstance
But this time your thought might be – I will never get this done in time.
Maybe now you are feeling .. overwhelmed
What are the actions you take when you are overwhelmed?
When I’m working with clients typical actions include spinning in confusion, maybe complain about what the project, and don’t do much actual work on the project, because they are not sure where to start
And what is the result?
Well, if you aren’t doing much you will not get it done in time right – just as you thought.
Next up – let’s think about how this relates to your drinking.
Let’s use wine – Pinot G if we are being specific
So the circumstance is a glass of Pinot G
My thought could be – I need this to take the edge off
My feeling is desire
When I have desire for wine I go pour myself a glass
And my result is I reinforce the idea that I need the wine to take the edge off
See the pattern here my friends… your thinking causes your feelings, which then triggers your actions, and gives you your results.
Let’s do the contrast of that thought
So Pinot G is still the Circumstance
Another possible thought is – It’s totally ok if I don’t have a glass today because I decided in advance not to
Feeling could be … accepting
Sometimes when I’m working with clients the actions that come with accepting is recognizing it may be uncomfortable but not have the glass, they may write down any thoughts that are coming up, but they are able to allow the urge – not fight against it, and they process emotions that come up
The result is – they see they are totally ok without the glass – and they see they can honor the commitments they made in advance.
You guys- this work is so much fun.
Ok – let’s talk a little more about action –
There are a couple of different kinds of action – passive action and massive action.
I feel like so many of my gals – and myself if I’m being honest – love to learn new things.
Learning can be such fun but reading books, listening to podcasts or audibles doesn’t really give you new results.
That is –
if you are just consuming, passive action, the information.
Massive action will get you the new results.
When you have massive action in your action line you get new results.
So maybe, you took what you learned, and applied it to your life.
That is what coaching is – showing you how to think about ways to ignite feelings that drive you to action which will give you the results you want.
So often we act as if we are victims to our circumstance – thinking all of the external sources cause us our problems – I don’t have time, this job is making me crazy – my husband doesn’t understand, the kids drive me to drink – not true friend.
None of it.
It truly is none of that – it is all in how we think about those external sources.
Think about it – this is the best news ever- because if our happiness is dependent on the external sources – those we don’t have control over – we are all hosed.
If its our thinking we have a fighting chance..lol..
We are in control of our thinking and we can choose to think differently if we want different results.
The Model is such a fascinating tool which allows you to first see what results you are getting currently, and then decide what you want to think on purpose.
So – between the last two episodes we talked about all the steps of the Model –
first starting with a circumstance – the neutral fact,
which you have a thought about –
which is a sentence in your mind,
and the thought triggers your feeling,
which drives your action,
which causes your result.
It’s so good.
I love when my clients start building awareness for this and see how powerful it can be in taking your life to the next level.
Now listen – I’m going to do another example for you – if you have been thinking maybe you want to learn more, but feeling a little hesitant (which is having you not sign up for a free call yet) I encourage you to notice that – do you instead want to choose to think this could be exactly what you need to make the change you are looking for, feel excited – and actually set up a call?
I offer limited free consults each week – its fun and easy – we take a look at where you are in your life, where you want to be, and how we can work together to get you there.
You can go to mindfulweighs.com/freebie – that will allow you to get a free download on how to drinkless tonight, it will give you an option to sign up for a call and you will also get on my email list for additional free content.
So much fun.
All right – that’s what I have for you today – thanks so much for listening. Let’s circle back next week – but for now, make it a great day!